I know I’ve been gone for like FOREVER, but I had to take a break from my hectic life, check tumblr, and HOLY SHIT THEY’RE MARRIED! Her dress was stunning, she was glowing and I’m grinning like an idiot as I type this. How insanely perfect. (Oh, and ECO looks gorg as well. I mean, those ray bans? DAMN BOY.)
I miss you - seriously I do! :( So sad visiting that page and no updates - hope your life is going well though and leaves you time to breathe! I will wait patiently for your brilliance to be back :)
Aww thank you. I’m sorry for the lack of posts and overall absence recently, I hope I can catch a break and come back soon!
via @ericcolsen on instagram
We lost a dog yesterday. Kota slipped away in the morning as i drove him to the hospital; One hand desperately clutching the wheel while the other propped up his giant furry head. The soft wetness of his breath on my palm stopping someplace on PCH. The surreal realization of death. Taking stock in the moment. The sunrise. The Traffic. The monotonous ramblings of the radio. His eyes drained of magic and pain. The helpless look of people speeding by as i carried his limp body across the rush hour traffic on Sepulveda. Barefoot and shirtless with the streaming tears of an 8 year old. The poor nurses knowing that he was already gone but trying hopelessly to revive him. The look on Sarah’s face when she arrived. Trying to explain to a 9 month old why his puppy wasn’t moving while his tiny hands pulled the thick fur. Understanding the absurdity of telling him gentle as he did it. Being a father of a newborn son i’m able to quantify and intellectually put into perspective that this is only a dog. But anybody that has had one, or loved one, a dog that looked at you and loved you in a way that made love seem infinite, you know what I mean when i say that with that kind of love, comes that kind of heartbreak.
Tagged by the fabulous Nimisha:)
1) Something old: A blurb from one of the first fics you’ve ever written.
Luckily, for my own sake, not one of the first things I ever wrote are still on the internet. They’ve ALL been taken down. So, I’ll have to substitute with something old- yet not quite as old as other terrible, terrible things.
"…I thought earlier you said that today I get to choose the restaurant."
"But that was lunch. And now it’s dinner."
Deeks nodded, amused as his partner turned to walk away.
"…For dinner we’re going to do-" she paused briefly to dance. "-bulgogi."
They strolled out of the bullpen, walking side by side towards the exit. “Okay. Your logic is super flawed but I’ll go as long as you just stop doing whatever thatis.”
She wasn’t swayed. “What? You mean this? You mean bulgooooogi?”
"Actually… no. Nevermind. That’s great."
Kensi laughed, and the sound was nearly a giggle considering how high pitched it was.
Deeks smiled, as his partner was practically egging him on by that point. “I dig it. Keep it up.”
Kensi nodded with a smirk, continuing her dance all the way out to the parking lot until they reached her car, which was parked directly beside Deeks’.
"So… can I meet you at the restaurant?" Kensi asked, leaning against the truck of her car.
"We haven’t even settled on where we are going yet!"
"Yes we have. Or, yes I have. It’s gonna be great, you wanna know why? Because we’re gettin’ bulgoooo-"
"Okay partner, I get it."
"You sure? Bulgoooo-"
"Yup. Let’s not. That’s still disturbing, and I’ll follow you."
Deeks chuckled and ducked into his car without another word, still wearing a huge smile. He didn’t necessarily enjoy driving separately from Kensi, but the ten or fifteen minutes he got to spend alone certainly gave him time to think- but whether or not that was a bad thing… Deeks wasn’t entirely sure.
2) Something new: A snippet from something you’re currently working on, or from the last thing you posted.
I really don’t wanna post too much of this story, because it’s a drabble that I’m working on and it ought to be up relatively soon. But it is pretty gut wrenching and, out of context, I can already tell that this passage is gonna make some of y’all wanna kill me.
"I saw our future, Deeks. I created it. I planned it out for us but at the same time I didn’t because I knew that you’d never want me to do it that way.”
She shakes her head and feels that all too familiar sense of panic rising up in her chest- the one where she knows what she wants, and she has it, but it’s being taken away.
“You hate schedules so for your sake I didn’t make them. We were just gonna live our lives together and be together and be happy together, and do all of it no matter what bullshit was thrown at us.”
She swallows down her pride as the tears brim over her eyelids, coming fast. “You were never supposed to leave, though. That wasn’t part of the plan.”
3) Something borrowed: A scene or section of dialogue from another writer’s story. Maybe something that inspired you or resonated with you. (Credit the writer and link to it if possible, please.)
Basically anything by wingsofnight is bound to ruin me, but this was one of my favorites. Good lord. She’s talented. (This excerpt is from Mending.)
Andros is over by the metal table. Deeks can tell by the clanging of metal on metal as Andros either returns the tools he had been using or exchanges them for something new. Neither option sounds good. Coming back with no tools almost certainly means they’ve given up and it’s time for a more permanent approach. Coming back with new tools means new pain in a new location.
He wants so badly to want option two, but he knows he’d be relieved with option one. There’s only one thing keeping him from begging Siderov to end his life- Kensi. He knows she’s out there. He knows she’s looking for him. He knows she won’t stop moving for a single second until he’s either safe or dead. He’d still prefer safe, but he’s slipping.
It’s then that the wall beside him explodes inward and what little vision he has left is replaced by a sea of white.
4) Something blue: C’mon, you know you’ve written a really gut-wrenching bit of angst at some point. Let’s hear the saddest or angstiest thing you’ve got.
This was hard, because I’ve written A TON of angst that made you guys scream and cry and send me angry anonymous messages. But I decided that I’d post this, because it’s one of the only things I’ve ever written that actually made Emma cry. Then she threw a book at me when she finished reading it.
Kensi’s eyes weren’t opening.
He lifted a shaking hand away from her side and pressed it against her throat, feeling for a pulse.
He shook his head, tears welling up in his eyes, and tried again.
He shut his eyes and leaned forward against her. The gunfire was slowly becoming easier to hear, the screams becoming more pronounced as time went on.
He lifted his head and watched as Sam charged towards him, and then right past him. Deeks wondered if he’d even noticed Kensi’s predicament, but quickly realized that he probably couldn’t have even seen her in the darkness of the night. This hurt him in ways that were almost impossible to explain.
“Deeks, we’re surrounded!” Sam yelled, keeping up a sprint. “We’ve gotta move, now!”
In a haze he lifted her lifeless remains up off the ground and started running, sprinting- tripping over rocks and twigs as he tried to get her to safer ground. As he tried to save her.
Only about twenty minutes in did Deeks realize that he was no longer carrying Kensi.
He was carrying a corpse.
Where the heck are you, Haze? It's enough that there is this damn - massive - huge lack of densi in the coming weeks but I can't handle you abandoning us as well! *haha* No seriously, are you alright girl? Everything's ok?! Lots of love xox
Hahaha I’m great! Sorry, life has just been insanely busy recently, and will be again next week:( But I’ll try to get a drabble or something up soon!
Dave Kalstein : Guys, the season is now over and I rocked it once again.
Writer B : Where’s writer A ?
D. K : He said he didn’t like the episodes I wrote, so I offered him to be a writer on our new show.
Writer C : NCIS : New Orleans ?
D.K : NCIS : go fuck yourself.
Writer D : Writer A was a pain in the ass. I overheard him complaining about the way Hetty has been written this season.
Writer E : Who’s Hetty ?
Writer D : She’s the intelligence analyst duh.
Writer F : Wait, last week episode was the season finale ? I thought that was a rerun !
Writer C : When is NCIS : GFY scheduled to air ?
10 foods you need to try: Udi's Gluten Free chocolate chip cookies, Udi's GF Blueberry Muffins, Udi's GF bread, any Larabar (my sources recommend apple pie), Van's gf waffles (my sources recommend blueberry), any kind of Chex cereal except wheat or multi-grain (my sources and I recommend Chocolate, Cinnamon, or Corn), Nature Valley Protein Bars, Nature Valley Roasted Nut bars, Love Grown Foods Granola, and Silk Mocha Latte. Message me if you need normal GF food recommendations. Hang in there :)
YOU ARE MY SAVIOR. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
IM SO SORRY! I'm allergic to dairy, gluten, eggs, pineapple, and walnuts. As much as it sucks right now, it does get easier. And you start to feel like 100 times better when you aren't eating stuff that makes you sick! If you ever want to how something's going to taste, or if you are looking for a good substitute for something, message me! I've tried everything and only about 50% is actually worth eating, trust me!
Thank you so much! My mom actually can’t have gluten or dairy either, so I’ve tried a decent amount of the substitutes and for the most part they aren’t that bad. I’m hoping I feel better soon, it’s just that the southern/incredibly american girl inside of me is screaming JUST EAT THE DAMNED ICE CREAM and it’s a very loud voice.
Just got my blood panels back from the naturopath, and I kinda wanna cry. I’m allergic to dairy and gluten. Both. No ice cream, no bread, no pasta, no milkshakes, no hamburgers, no fun. Like sorry but I AM AN AMERICAN AND I BELIEVE IT SHOULD BE UNCONSTITUTIONAL FOR MY BODY TO DENY ME HAMBURGERS LIKE ISN’T THAT ONE OF MY RIGHTS OR SOMETHING IT IS AN ALL AMERICAN FOOD THEY CANNOT TAKE THIS FROM ME